Who's the victim?

There are two ways someone can play the “victim mode.” Either they are only concerned with everyone else or they are only concerned with themselves. In some circumstances, people are like this because they do not understand otherwise, usually this pertains to young children. However, my experiences have dealt with young adults who know better. It is my belief that the only reason for their behavior is because they are selfish and immature.
Alex is a person who has many examples of playing the “victim mode.” She is usually concerned with everyone else. One example is, Alex took her phone to school. She put it in her locker but doesn’t remember where she put it and doesn’t remember ever getting it out. Instead of just admitting she lost it, she claimed someone stole it so she would not get into trouble. The principal checked the cameras that had a clear view of her locker and reported that the only people in her locker that day were her and her locker partner. The tapes are in a locked VCR compartment that only the principal has the key to and it is monitored by the secretary, therefore there was no way the video could be tampered with. Somehow though, someone stole her phone. Not long after that, Alex lost a very expensive pair of boots. She blamed everyone else in the family for it. She claimed someone moved them. Well, it just so happens that Alex likes to get on the computer and the computer happens to be in her sister’s room. When her sister came home from college one weekend, she cleaned her room and in the process found Alex’s boots. Alex ran downstairs to her mom declaring that her sister had stolen them. Considering Alex had worn the boots in between the periods of her sister’s visits, it was not possible for her sister to be the one to take them. Then, the next morning as her sister and her mom were leaving, Alex stands at the top of the stairs and shouts down to her mom asking to go to the movies and hang out at her boyfriend’s house. Her mom said not unless she found a ride because she had to take Alex’s car because her was in the shop and that she didn’t like the idea of her going over to her boyfriend’s house she would rather them wait and come to her house when she got home. Infuriated, Alex exclaimed, “You never let me do anything. The other two got to do stuff all the time.”
Nicole is an example of a person in “victim mode” who is only concerned with herself. Nicole’s mom wanted her to come with her and Autumn, her grand-daughter, for a girls day. Nicole said no, she needed alone time with her husband (even though neither of them work and they spend all day together while her sister watches her son and her niece) and then proceeded to tell her mom to take Joey, Nicole’s son, with her instead. When her mom said no she was just going to take Autumn, Nicole was angry and screamed at her mom saying , “You never does anything for me and I need my alone time and I’m always doing things and I never get a break.” Later, during a phone call, she proceeded to tell a friend that her mom is selfish.
I would not see the situations any differently now that we have talked about it in class. I would not be a good person to give either girl feedback because I would not be nice about it. I would tell them the truth and if that makes them see the light then it does, if not then there’s no hope for them. I would tell Alex she needs to be more responsible and keep track of her things and she needs to make plans earlier and let her mom know about them before she is walking out the door. She also needs to understand that her mom has good reasons for responding the way she does. She tells her no sometimes because she is trying to protect her because she loves her. I would tell Nicole that she needs to realize that everything is not about her. There are other people in this world and it is extremely rude to call her mom selfish when she was just trying to do something nice for Nicole. Just because the what someone is trying to do is not exactly what she wants it to be does not make the gesture any less nice and does not mean that the other person is wrong for not doing what she wanted.